The week I spent in the woods was the longest I've been away from the Internet since February 2003 when I went to Tierra de Milagros in Costa Rica.
It was nice not to always know the answer.
A reasonably attractive woman in her late 30s/early 40s whipped out a yellow highlighter and set to work on Chapter 20 - "What Really Scares a Man?" Obviously the book left out the tip about not highlighting in public.
An opinion poll this week claims more than 40% of
Americans would use genetic engineering to upgrade
their children mentally and physically if possible.
I would request slightly smaller thumbs for my kids so they could be superior texters.
>> Hostage to fortune <<
TV news-crews get special training
Alan Johnston has now spent 100 days as a
hostage in Gaza. TV news networks are taking
no chance with other British foreign
correspondents. News hounds are being hurriedly
sent on Kidnapping Training courses.
And what are they told to do in the event
of being kidnapped?
"Tell them absolutely anything they want."
Perhaps I could start my own trainng course called Operation Get the Fuck Out!
Look a ukulele in nyc.
Yup! I saw a Hasidic Jew surfing out on Rockaway. He had a long beard, tzitzit under his wet suit but no waterproof yarmulke. The best part is that according to BJ, the founder of Brothers on Boards, his wife surfs too and follows Jewish law by surfing in a skirt! My new mission this summer, besides finding a job is to get this on film. Stay tuned. (This isn't my rabbi, but I wanted a photo).
I need a writing partner. It's the missing link. I need someone to talk out the idea and then blow it up. Remember it was Seinfeld and Larry David. Now I need to find Seinfeld.... where do you look? Maybe I should take a class. I once took a sitcom writing class with a creepy old guy who won an Emmy for All in the Family as the teacher. He invited me to lunch and then back to his apartment on Beekman St. I'd never been to an apartment on Beekman St but I always associated it with this movie/book, Auntie Mame that I loved as a kid (still do). So I decided to go and check it out as an investigative research assignment (this used to be my rationalization when I used to do very stupid things - ie. be the only girl at an afterhours party in Bed Stuy before it was cool). Well I wasn't impressed at all! He lived in the left overs of an apartment that had been combined with the apartment next door. The whole place was decorated with pictures of him and Gloria, Meathead, etc. On the mantle was a framed note reading "Thanks for the flowers, Kat Hep" as in Katherine Hepburn. The memorabilia made it worth the trip but there was no way I was having an affair with a 68 year old before I went to the apartment and with only 1 window facing an alley I wasn't changing my mind. Next class he showed up with hair plugs!
The ohm bikini - my design and knitting, but not my tush. God mine is much bigger. The model will remain nameless.
Looking for a job is depressing. I wish I could start my own business but all my ideas make better sitcoms than business plans. For example -
The Insult Consultants - I'll help you come up with a plan of attack to tell someone off.
Driven to Distraction - Need to kill time, I'll distract you.
LR Dog - Yoga gear for people who don' t know their left from their right (this well be a hot seller as soon as I select the right font and metallic fabric paint).
Horoscope Interpreter - I'll analyze horoscopes from several reliable astrologers and apply them to your life on a daily basis.
To be continued...
So good to be in the Bronx!
